What if your friend harms someone?
I’ve been in the situation of having people I worked with or associated with be accused of harming others. I understand how jarring this...
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Teaching your teen boys about consent
Recently I was asked to write something specifically for parents of boys and young men. When I teach consent I include everyone, no...
Consent and unwanted sex
One thing that really drives me crazy is when people say that consent is simple. Consent is actually an aspect of interactions that rests...
"It was definitely assault, because she said no 5 times..."
Recently I had a conversation with the sweetest, most caring educator about a sexual assault at their school, perpetrated by one student...
Respecting Your Kid’s Boundaries
Not too long ago I was speaking with a loving dad, and he proudly told me how he was teaching his 8 year old daughter to defend her...
The insidious slide from willing to tolerating
Something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is the way I can unconsciously slide from a state of enthusiasm to a state of being...
Consent and Systemic inequity
When I talk about systemic inequity as a factor in consent, it can be confusing to people. Am I saying that people who are marginalized...
Changing your Mind and consent
One of the messages about consent that I wish every young person knew is this: No matter what, no matter when, no matter with who, when...
Top 5 Tips for Talking to young People about consent
Here are my top 5 tips for talking to the young people in your life about consent! Consent is about so much more than sex! Talk to your...
Desire Smuggling and consent
Being able to clearly ask for what we want is essential to consent. When we can’t ask for what we want, we do something called “desire...
What does the Freeze Response Have to do with Consent?
What is the Freeze Response and what does it have to do with consent? Most of us have heard of the autonomic Fight and Flight responses...
Should they even be asking?
Consent between people becomes much more complicated when they have significantly differing positions of power in the world. In some...
Is Consent Always An enthusiastic yes?
The latest consent motto is “Anything but an enthusiastic Yes is a No!” That has led to some confusion, because often we consent to...
Learning to Hear “No.”
Most of us have a hard time hearing “No”. It often feels like rejection, or even as an indictment of the very core of who we are. We are...
What We Do When We Want to Say “No”
Many of us have a hard time saying “No”. And we have a lot of strategies that we employ when we are put in the position of wanting or...
What Does "Maybe" Really Mean?
I used to say "Maybe" when I really meant "No". So one thing that maybe can mean is, “I want to say no, but I’m scared.”
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